HORROR QUALITY DIPS: Vampires (part one)

I remember the good ol’ days, when horror icons and characters were still viewed with the cringe of a brow, the shuttering of the eyes, and a racing heart. It’s exceptionally unfortunate that these generations of moviegoers are reduced to watching sappy, appalling, and outright offensive delineations of what true horror fans have come to love so dearly.

Does anyone remember when Vampires, Zombies, and Werewolves were petrifying? When the subtle movements from a cluster of the undead, mixed with a stomach turning score would make you sit at the edge of your seat? Or when the fangs and religious undertones of vampires would give you the need to possess a crucifix wrapped in garlic and dipped in Holy (tap) water? Even if you aren’t an ecstatic fanatic, the truth is, there has been a tremendous dip in horror, and an over saturation on television, which is making the category so “house-hold” that it is slowly losing its effectiveness.

Vampires: “Remember when they Ate you, instead of Date you?”

“True-Twilight-Diaries-Blood

There are three types of vampires.

  1. The thinker vampire- is the most predatorily effective bloodsucker. This is the completely coherent, calculating vampire, who preys on weakness (emotional or sexual) in order to accomplish his or her goal of draining you, only to make his or her victim feel as though its something they wanted all along.
  2. The ravenous “Zombie-Vampire”- one track minded blood thirsty monsters that have zero to no personality, and do more eating then actual “sucking.” They’re relentless, aggressive, and give little to no moment for preparation. They are malicious killers plain and simple, nothing to take lightly.
  3. The Sex idol vampire- this is quite possibly the worst thing that has happened to the vampire genre. Vampires are not disco balls; they explode or burn up in the sun. Vampires are not vegetarians, they manipulate you, fuck you up, and drink you DRY. Vampires do not fall in love with average girls who have an OPEN MOUTH issue. They don’t fall victim to dull plot lines, bad CGI, stupid monster designs, and poor dialogue (well maybe sometimes). Twilight and its various television counter parts, have given vampires a huge leap into the pits of junk entertainment, creating another genre that portrays MONSTERS as pathetic, soap opera driven teenagers with lip-gloss and glitter.

The average fan of Twilight, normally has a defense that continually has something to do with a reference to “you haven’t read” the books. These books are written for pre-teens, or tweens (ages 12-18) I HAVE NO BUSINESS READING THEM, and neither do men and women alike. Just because words like “Masochist” are thrown around the Novel, does not make it a good piece of literature, in fact, its complete shit.

Whatever happened to the ‘Lost Boys’ the original ‘Fright Night?’ or even 30 days of night? It’s as if these monumental films are nothing but a distant memory in an era of Suckers (the viewer). Instead of the greats we have True blood, a show that can be summarized basically by saying…”SEX!” Vampire Diaries, which is another boring plot line about forbidden love and vampires, shoot me. There are some hopefuls, such as Stake Land, which is more of a post apocalyptic movie then “vampire;” which is the latest attempt at breaking the mold in the ever growing bleak future of the Vampire Genre.

The point of this article is to optimistically reach readers who may potentially hate ever word I said, but at least give there curiosity a run for it’s money by checking out the following list of vampire films that may or may not have been exposed to an ever growing duped youth.

MUST SEE VAMPIRE FLICKS

Nosferatu: Eine Symphonie des Gravens (1922)

John Carpenter’s Vampires (1998)

Lost Boys (1987)

Interview with a Vampire (1994)

Dracula (1958)

Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

Let the Right One In (2008)

30 Days of Night 2007

Fright Night 1985

Stakeland 2010

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Nightmares can come true! Mortal Kombat new DLC: FREDDY KRUEGER

There really isn’t much to say about this except “FUCKIN COOL.” I’ve always been a fan of fighting games that throw in characters from different franchises, i.e Yoda in Soul Caliber, Darth Vader, Kratos etc. With that being said, feast your eyes on one of the coolest DLCs of this year. (fingers crossed for Jason)

 

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Paranormal Activity 3: Bloody Mary?????

Paramount finally premiered the new Paranormal Activity 3 trailer and all I have to say is “Bloody Mary?” To say “I’m confused about whether or not this franchise ever had an actual direction” is an understatement. The first film showed us how a low budget film can make good money with well thought out execution, the second film disappointed us, and it seems now that the third one is veering closer to banking off of the success of Insidious. Now even though the new film looks to be totally different, perhaps this is the BEST thing that could happen to PA. When I saw PA2, I just couldn’t help but think that it had a lot of unintentional Dark humor, particularly when we saw a floating baby in a crib. Them showing an actual “Ghost” or what they are calling “Bloody Mary” is just a natural progression of the film/audience interest and relationship. Even if it seems like they came up with the idea well after the original film, it works out pretty well in terms of the viewer, I mean, who wants to see another movie about NOTHING attacking people.

Paranormal Activity 3 Trailer

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GHOST: Swedish Satanic Metal

GhostWritten by: Etienne V.

WHO: Ghost

ALBUM: Opus Eponymous

LABEL: Rise Above Records

WHY YOU SHOULD BE LISTENING: Sweden’s Ghost are somewhat of an anomaly on this list. If it weren’t for their growing hype across online metal sites, it’s possible I may have missed this release altogether. Thankfully, I did not – and neither should you. After listening through the 35 minutes of Opus Eponymous several times over, I can say with full confidence that I am packed and ready to jump on their hype train. I was immediately drawn in by the band’s name, their awesome album art and their overall theatrical presence, but it is really their music that makes me believe that this band has truly unlimited potential. The music is extremely reminiscent of King Diamond and Mercyful Fate with its clean vocals, high pitch harmonies, Satanic lyrics and 70s inspired metal. The songs on the album follow a very solid structure with catchy hooks to draw the listener in. It was very refreshing to hear clean vocals that didn’t make me cringe. The hooks on the album are memorable, and at just 35 minutes leaves you wanting more. The production on the album is very tight and allows for the solid rythym section to stand out and really lend power to each of the songs.The guitars blend well with the bass and drums, and the vocals ride nicely out in front of the mix. And let’s not forget the organ that puts an exclamation point on the band’s sound. Simply put – Ghost rocks hard. If you’re looking for a fresh take on the metal of the 70’s with a Satanic twist, or just a really good metal album, I’d highly recommend listening to Opus Eponymous.

ALBUM HIGHLIGHTS: Con Clavi Con Dio, Ritual, Elizabeth and Death Knell

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The Drop of Water 1963: a great horror movie you don’t know about.

Not to shortly after we posted our article about the Classic Horror Campaign in London did I start a long mission to become well immersed in classic horror movies. I was searching through Netflix and Came across “Black Sabbath,” not the band, but the film, the 1963 triple horror feature.

The first segment “The Drop of Water,” directed by Mario Bava, is probably one of the greatest horror films (Or segment) I think I’ve ever seen. It’s about a woman, who in an act of greed steals a dead woman’s ring, but with great consequence. The amount of influence that it has had, and that you can clearly see, on our contemporary films and directors, is refreshing.

Sam Raimi’s “Evil dead” and “Drag me to Hell” have a pretty similar style and feel to Bava’s segment, especially Drag me to Hell, which could have been a complete re-envision of this segment.

I also see a lot of Japanese horror themes. Influencing the creepy, eerie, atmospheric slow moving ghost motions made famous by movies like “the Ring,” “Kairo” (Pulse) and the “Grudge.” Even though most of the J-horror movies are well rooted in cultural foundations, there is still an influence from the early horror greats.

The “reveal” sequence in the film is close to perfect. Check it out below. It’s 10 minutes of horror perfection. Watch the full film to get a feel of this masterpiece. It’s currently on Netflix, but if your boycotting the Streaming monopoly; they’re also on YouTube.

(Note the “Frightened to death” line. Its like the Ring in Technicolor.)

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“THE THING” Remake poster Revealed.

The Thing New Poster

THE THING

Hopefully we’ll get to see some old school prosthetics with a new age twist, instead of CGI green screen rape. If I see some sort of Alien/Monster baby, I’m walking right out. However, can’t wait.

THT-Chris

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